I didn’t know who I wanted to be as a little girl. I loved dressing up in the clothes I would find in both my parents’ wardrobes. Some days I was my mother in a cast-off ball gown; other days I was my father dressed up to go to work. I playfully explored those different personas, and I’m neither of those people today.
My children had their own dress-up box that we kept in the cupboard under the stairs. One day my son was a firefighter; the next, he would be a policeman. Sometimes he would try my daughter’s mermaid tail on for fun, but he kept going back to his Power Ranger’s onesie until it split up the backside giving everyone an unexpected view. It eventually wore out, and he had to discard it. He didn’t let it go easily, but after enough people told him it was well past time, he came to the same realisation.
Finding and being your authentic leadership self is no different.
In her research, London Business School Professor Herminia Ibarra found that we tend to pull back towards familiar behaviours and leadership styles and protect our self-identity when pushed beyond our comfort zone. This can lead us to grab hold of authenticity as an excuse for sticking with what is and makes us comfortable.
However, is that enough when faced with a perfect storm of complex change.
In his play Man and Superman, George Bernard Shaw said:
‘The only man who behaves sensibly is my tailor, he takes my measurements anew every time he sees me. The rest go on with their old measurements and expected them to fit me.’
No one likes it when others label them, but it’s particularly irksome when you’re labelled based on what other people see you do in a single specific situation.
So, when it comes to centring ourselves and our leadership, we need to recognise first and foremost that no one is wholly the person they appear to be in a specific context, including – and especially – you.
Context matters, but it doesn’t need to define us… unless we let it.
But we’re also in a world of rapid change. We’re in a storm.
In the eye of the storm, where chaos swirls and challenges loom on every side, lies a place of calm and clarity – a place where you – as a leader – can centre yourself, find your true strength, set a direction and determine your next right step. This is the eye of the storm.
The world is complex. Leading change and personal growth are also complex and will see you in the storm. And while you can’t avoid the storm, when you know yourself, you can recentre in the calm of the eye and carry on despite the storm.
Interested in finding out how you can centre yourself in the storm and stay centred as the storms rage around you?
Then you may want to read my new book Centred: How to Lead with Confidence in times of Complex Change when it’s released late November 2024.
